“What is a soul? It’s like electricity–we don’t really know what it is, but it’s a force that can light a room.” —Ray Charles
If you have a computer, television or radio, you have probably heard of the book phenomenon The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (Atria Books 2008). Essentially, this book tells readers that if they believe in something and really focus on it, they can acquire it—be it money, fame, success or anything else. Although the idea is alluring, wishing alone probably won’t do the trick. Wanting something enough to achieve it requires effort and a little something called “it.”
I believe there is a correlation between having “it” and being successful. I also believe that much of your success and happiness is rooted in a positive sense of self and the interactions and relationships that you develop. In other words, the more positively people respond to you, the easier it may be for you to attain success. While some people seem able to acquire “it” and succeed in learning to attract attention, for others this ability seems to come naturally. So, what is “it”?
In essence, “it” is an important piece in the law of attraction and ultimate success. Those who have “it” are frequently optimistic and consistently seek out the positive in self and life. They typically attract people who connect with their dominant thoughts. For instance, if you’re looking to connect with successful fitness professionals, you’re going to create opportunities in which you can learn from and directly connect with those you seek to emulate. Your dominant thoughts and how you convey them can create the “it” factor. Hence, if you give off an air of success and confidence, that same air will typically surround the people you draw into your life.
When I travel for business conferences, I enjoy attending lectures. Invariably, some speakers are memorable while others are not. It’s the same with my fellow conference attendees. The speakers and attendees who are memorable most likely have “it,” because they are easy to recall and recognize. It might be their smile, their passion, their positive attitude or their genuine personality. In my opinion, having “it” includes a proportionate measure of each.
Conversely, you may know people for whom success is consistently elusive. I think of them as “viewers,” not “doers.” They may believe they want to achieve their goals, but they simply don’t take the necessary steps, often blaming others for their failure. This type of attitude results in missed opportunities, and they are left with a sense of longing. In addition, these folks are the “negative” thinkers, and as they think, they attract.
My hunch is that you are willing and able to take the steps necessary to attract the success you desire. Perhaps you simply need a little guidance and a chance to evaluate how you live your life.
Attraction and Success
With the popularity of The Secret, the “law of attraction” principle has never been more popular. In other words, “Believe it and you can achieve it!” “You become what you believe!” “Our thoughts create our destiny!” And so on.
Basically, this approach is how we inspire our clients every day! “I believe in you!” and “I know you can do it” are comments we frequently use to encourage and motivate clients to believe in the possibilities of a healthy life. Yet when it comes to our own motivation, this confidence is lacking. Developing “it” depends on first believing you can attract those who have “it,” then learning from them and ultimately becoming the person others want to learn from and/or be inspired by.
When you think about attracting those you wish to associate or do business with, you become a magnet. Everything you think about is fueled by emotions, or “vibes.” You’ll most likely attract those who are on the same wavelength and connect with your “vibe.” Ultimately, you attract into your life people, ideas, opportunities, resources, circumstances and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind. Do note that this can work in a negative sense as well, so be wary of negative or blaming types of people, as they can lower your chances of success.
When I first entered the industry over 20 years ago, I set my sights on the experts who were at the top of their field. I not only wanted to know them, but I wanted to learn from them and become one of them. I therefore set my goals and intentions with this in mind. I watched these successful people closely, made notes on the things that they were doing and incorporated their success secrets into my life. I believed success was possible for me if I was willing to put in the time, be a good listener and hold true to my integrity.
How Others See You
When you’re attending a conference or working with clients, how do you suppose people perceive you? Are you the one who stands out and whom everyone wants to know and be around? Or do you find that the positive people aren‘t necessarily drawn to you? What is your “vibe?” Do you attract people and opportunities, or do you detract from them?
Having “it” is based on how people perceive you. How you respond to people and handle tough situations at work says so much about you. If you handle crises at work with a calm, optimistic demeanor, people will find that admirable and work to do the same. How you interact with staff and members plays a huge role in the “law of attraction” and ultimately in attracting and retaining great staff and members.
I’m sure that at one point in your life you have worked with someone who did not handle stress or challenging situations well. Perhaps that person blamed the situation on everyone else and never looked inward. The natural reaction to that kind of person is avoidance, which is definitely not the way to achieve success.
When I give management lectures, trainers or managers in attendance will sometimes come up to me and complain about their bosses. They feel unhappy with their bosses’ responses to tough situations and interpret those responses as a lack of caring. Appearing not to care is not a way to attract success.
I have the good fortune to have the greatest staff in the world, but I’ve worked to create that. My studio has a positive synergy where staff is able to work well together. Consequently, our clients are the same way. We have the greatest clients in the world because that’s whom we have worked hard to attract.
Whom Do You Know?
If you are one of those born with “it,” are you using it to reach your full potential? Or if you feel you don’t have “it,” perhaps you know someone who does. Why not get to know, observe and follow the career of that person, and find out what he or she is doing to create personal success. Ask questions, find out how your “it” role model handles day-to-day life and challenging situations. You can learn so much from people and, if you’re willing to do the work, they can have a profound impact on the success of both your personal and professional life.
According to Kay Cross, MEd, owner of Cross Coaching and Wellness in Fort Worth, Texas, “When you get down to the foundation of those who have ‘it,’ it is all about being totally comfortable in your own skin.” As a life coach, she considers that the foundation includes character, personality, core values and the ways these are exemplified in daily life.
Become the Person You Want to Be
Too often, people are all talk and no action. When I present business lectures, it’s fascinating to watch the excitement of attendees as they anticipate applying their new knowledge once they return to work. The truth is that some will actually do it and do it well, while others won’t. I tell my clients all the time, “You have to want change in order to make change.” Some are ready to take the steps needed to make changes in their life, while others are waiting for the right moment, which may never happen.
Cross shares the importance of understanding yourself before you can attract what you want. “It is about knowing that who you are is enough. You don’t need to be like everyone else or have what everyone else has. I believe people are attracted to those they want to be more like and/or who have similar values. When people are not attracting what they want, they need to take a close look at themselves and find out what they are sending out in their looks, behavior and personality.” Confidence and positive action convey and attract “it.” The moment you realize that thinking and acting positively are the secrets to success, you will understand that action isn’t necessary, it’s mandatory—if success is truly your goal.
Study those whom you admire and the qualities you’d like to posses, then build on the great qualities you already have. Hone your people skills and those of your staff. Look for classes, books and so on to help you excel in areas where you need help. Simply exuding passion, excitement and a positive attitude about life and business can turn things around more than you may realize. If you believe in your potential and are willing to do the work to acquire “it,” there is no end to the success you can attract.
- The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dwyer (Hay House 2005)
- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (Wilder 2008)
- The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy (Martino Fine Books 2009)
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