I guess this isn’t too much of a question but more of a concern. A month ago, I had a client start with me that had previously lost 100 pounds on her own. In 2010-2011, she was in optimum shape and kept it off for 3 years. She since has put on 30 pounds and contacted me to help her stop and lose. The first two weeks, she was dropping pounds and feeling great. She is NO slacker and really puts in some tough sessions with me. I’ve kept in varied, incorporating Boxing, Bosu challenges, weight training, sprinting, etc and I am SO proud of her giving her all. She turns in her dietary logs and is very specific on everything.
Here is where the problem lies. She doesn’t have the greatest support, i.e. her spouse, who she said is morbidly obese, not really wanting to make a change at this time. She tends to sabotage herself once he is eating his meals of choice and falls back into pattern. She is also training for a run on her own of 10 miles happening Oct.4, so she’s been getting some long runs in during her own time, and Yoga. She has a hairdresser that puts her down when seeing her commenting on her weight gain since last time, etc. I REALLY want to help this woman. She did so well on her own and I can see is really hurting and trying to be consistent but is being pulled in different directions. She said she plans to stay with me training, right now she’s been doing 3 days a week and I don’t want to see her regress. I guess I just want to keep it intense for her but don’t know how to keep her from slipping on her own and I am worried for her. She recovered from Back Surgery 3 years ago as well and really is trying.
Sorry so lengthy and no real question, guess I just feel like any input may help.
I love all the responses you have here, as well as your question. That there is compassion, rather than judgement speaks to the professionalism and human connection of everyone posting, I think. It does seem that she is engaged in each of the areas she needs, and she is working hard toward her goals.
I would suggest that if, as it seems, the place where the wall is weakest, as it were, is with social support it might help to enlist aid there. For the obese sense of self worth is attacked from all angles daily. As soon as one gets up one is bombarded with judgement. And on top of that is her closest potential social support who is against change…. well you can understand that… if she changes he bears the burden without her…. and that is really hard.
It is admirable for you to stand with her in a place of non judgement and compassion. But it would be helpful for her to have a greater support net, in addition to that. If you get her involved in some sort of race, as Harris suggests, she has the opportunity to join with a group, or train together with a group, that can help support her in her positive choices.
Yoga is another great place to find this supportive community. You do have to choose your class/teacher/studio well. Try to find her a viniyoga class, or something like that. I would say to avoid the really hot or other classes that are about the strong physical discipline to start.
If you can find her a meditation group that would probably also be very helpful. And I don’t just say meditate… that is good…. but it is doubly good I think if she joins a group, so she continues to develop a network of communities that support her.
If she works with a nutritionist, or with a group like weight watchers there are probably opportunities for support groups, both in person and online. I think these can be really good.
And I completely agree with Janet…. there are a lot of people who do hair. She does not need to associate with someone who does not treat her with kindness.