I had a couple come in together to talk to me about lecturing them. I was wondering how does a trainer motivate their clients to complete challenges on their own without feeling like their trainer is lecturing them? I felt awful that they had a terrible week because they wanted to be defiant and do exactly the opposite of what I was saying. They felt I was just telling them that they were wrong and they had to do things my way. That wasn’t my intention to make them feel bad for being themselves. I felt, on the other hand, that I was giving them ideas for how to plan out their week. Am I doing something wrong?
I would really suggest you consider taking a course on coaching.
It is really difficult to give you the perfect answer because the situation is complex.
I will say that people don’t resist change, however, they resist being changed. Folks don’t like to be told what to do. So if your approach doesn’t give them the freedom to make their own choices it will appear as if you are lecturing them.
Read up on motivation interviewing, the transtheoretical model stages of change as well as appreciative inquiry. It will do much to assist you in helping your clients to adopt life-promoting habits.
All the best to you.