Ira, Have you ever considered purchasing cooking magazines like “Cooking Light” or “Clean Eating.”
Have you ever asked your wife to prepare you a “special meal” and let her know what you would or would not like to be included in that special meal.
Ira, I am a firm believer that when we know better we do better. Perhaps she doesn’t know how to prepare “healthful meals” as a consequence of her upbringing. Learning new habits and behaviors is not an easy task.
I hope this is of help to you.
I eat differently than my husband, I modify and adjust as I go along, it’s not difficult.
It sounds to me like you need a talk about expectations and food desires, once you get that out on the table you can move forward
I suggest that you are really clear as to what healthy means to you and how you plan on assisting your wife to see your point of view.
You can also start making your own meals!
Take control of the meals you don’t eat at home too! Most of us have busy lifestyles and don’t eat every meal at the house. If this statement represents you, take action with “on the go” meals & snacks first. Then, when she cooks up her famous soul food, try to take a smaller portion. It’s sometimes the small things that make a difference, and initiate a long-term change.
You can also let her know how you’re feeling. We women tend to internalize negative comments and read too far into things, so make it clear that your decisions about food don’t reflect a change in how you feel about her. Make sure she knows the other ways you need her (laundry, chores, emotional support, etc) by thanking her. Let her know that you want to be around for a long time & feel that a healthier eating plan will do just that. Try to focus on your common ground too by finding a few compromise meals that embody both of your preferences. Transitions like this can be challenging, but definitely not impossible! Good luck & keep us posted.
Hi Ira. Good advice has been given here. Also try cooking with your wife – make it a team effort! Coming from a family with a strong Southern background myself, I totally understand what you’re dealing with. Changing any habit (such as our cooking methods) will take a little time, but if you deal with it one small step at a time (for example suggest that you guys saute the greens one night instead of cooking them the normal way; or try substituting a ‘healthy’ oil instead of lard or whatever) you may find that you both will enjoy exploring new ways of preparing your food. What I find that leads to certain failure, not only in trying to change our eating habits, but in trying to change any habit, is when we try to change everything all at once – seldom works! So take it a step at a time, have fun in the kitchen and enjoy!
I hope that this helps.