I think Daniel said it best here. In a good relationship, people care deeply about each other and it can be hard to watch the other person make his/her own decisions when those decisions aren’t ones that you agree with. People make their own decisions. Even though the two people, in my opinion, should treat the relationship itself like a single person, each person still very much needs to have his/her own individual identity. It’s important to allow each other to be your own person.
It can be difficult when I go out to eat with my girlfriend and I watch her order the most unhealthy item on the menu, without fail. She constantly eats fast food. I hate it. She is in great shape on the outside, which is probably why she doesn’t feel the need to eat healthier, but I keep telling her that it’s going to catch up with her one day =). I respect her decisions regardless of my opinions because she is her own person, and I love that person inside and out, imperfections and all. She returns that respect, and we have a solid relationship because of this mutual respect. Try not to read too much into it. It’s definitely ironic, but the fact remains that you have to look at it as a personal choice, and you have to respect that choice. You wouldn’t go force a complete stranger to follow your ways just because you feel like it’s the best thing for that person… It’s difficult territory with someone you love, but it’s probably for the best that every now and then we simply show our loved ones that we care, and respect their decisions regardless.
You make choices, your spouse makes choices. Ultimately the biggest choice is what do you want to do for you. You choose to be fit, and that is wonderful. If he/she decides that becoming fit is an attractive goal, he/she has a great teacher and role model. I would say not to be concerned about what other people think, but I know that’s not what it’s like in real life. Just try to be comfortable in the fact that you have made an incredibly good choice. It’s up to your spouse to decide whether or not to follow.
I’m still trying to learn how to deal with this myself. And I have to admit I am not very good at it! I find myself making comments that I shouldn’t and feel horrible after. But the truth is my spouse has asked me for the help, one of the reasons being she feels unfit around me and a lot of my friends who are also in the fitness industry.
So I’ve been doing my best to help her by training with her and guide her nutritionally without being too involved. But I know, as all fitness professionals know, you should probably never train your spouse. Its really like having one of your clients at home and you see everything they eat and when they don’t workout.
And then I either say something which never works or I keep my mouth shut and it eats me up inside! I want to see everyone succeed in being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle. Especially my partner and so it is very difficult situation!
You bring up a good question and I didn’t really even answer your question. ha. I think that yes it is difficult to be in front of a bunch of fit people when your partner is unfit. I know it shouldn’t matter but I’m a health freak so its difficult. 🙂