How to deal with disrespectful clients?
I coach youth wrestling and this year I've ran into my first trouble kid. He teases other kids, makes undermining comments about practice and clearly has a problem with authority. My initial reaction was to pull him aside and reprimand him for the behavior but I believe that might be an all to common problem at leading to the behavior now. I recently got my certification and I'm sure I'll run into people down the road with similar problems. Not sure what to do any suggestions?
OR make him your assistant, he has to follow your rules
the others are correct in suggesting that this is an issue that should be addressed by the parents. As it appears nowadays, though, many parents do not necessarily own up to this responsibility. They may have put him into your program in hopes that you will be the one who sets him straight.
I assume that you are part of a larger organization, and I would also touch base with other coaches because this is certainly a common problem.
One responsibility that you have, though, is the safety of the other participants. The line between teasing and bullying is blurry.
Of course the final decision on how to handle this situation is entirely up to you, but after speaking with the parents, and counseling the kid, if the behavior continued, if I were in this position, I would consider suspending or removing him from the team.
My two cents.
This is a difficult situation, mostly because you don't have all the puzzle pieces together in order to make a good decision here. If he continues to be unwilling to follow your lead and be part of the team, it's best to cut him loose. Unless you can talk to him in a way that he can understand what he is doing wrong and be willing to follow your lead, the problem has to be addressed by his parents where they might have to find a professional/counselor for him to talk to. What ever the message is going to be it has to be very clear, so there will be no second guessing going around.
The decision is yours to make...not an easy one. Good luck.
I would definitely both talk with the child and the parents. There is no bad child, just underlying reasons for behavior. While the behavior could be lack of parental supervision, etc., I wouldn't be so quick to judge. It could be many things, including a behavioral condition.
You'll get a better feel for the issues if you talk to the parents and see their response and willingness, or unwillingness, to address and help correct the situation. In the meantime, you could give the child some additional responsibilities to make him feel important and more connected to the team.
Addressing the parents with the kid present is an excellent suggestion. I used to teach physical education and with many kids,(not all) I would pull them aside after class and talk with them individually. I would ask all sorts of questions to find the root of the problem before taking it further. It could be a simple fix like someone suggesting making them an assistant. Explain the expectations of the class and ask the kid if they are following those expectations. If you can, make a deal with the kid. What would it take for him to meet those expectations. This is has worked wonders for me in the past but not all the time. I have a little background in counseling but from my experience, coaches and trainers can make some of the best counselors. The trainer or coach is already on a pedestal of authority and expertise. It will just take a little patience along with trial and error.
I developed a phenomenal relationship with my students and parents over the years as a teacher and that worked real well with me. Get emails and communicate weekly with parents worked well for me.
Good luck. Hope any ideas will spark something.
Often times when children act out, we first look to punishments as a way to correct the behavior. I have found that with older children, if we treat them with respect and value their opinions that we can gain their cooperation. I like Noel's suggestion of talking to the child. He may not want to be there. This may be something his parents have pushed him into doing. He may feel inadequate or have other things going on at school or home that are causing him to act out. A talk with him is warrented and possibly setting up a way to positively reinforce the behavior you'd like to see from him. An award for the class or individuals if they follow the rules. Acknowledging a child of the "class" for most improved, most helpful, best leadership or encouragement/support/sportsmanship.
Opening up lines of communication with the children and their parents will help you to spot issues before they come up and make you all act better as a team.