How Do You Deal With Clients Who Incessantly Talk About Personal Issues During Training?

We are in a field where we get to know our clients not only from a fitness perspective but at times from a personal perspective. Since we also get to know—albeit not in person—family members, friends and colleagues, some clients use their time with us to dish, let it out, get a problem off their chest or just plain vent. As an exercise physiologist and president of Solo Fitness since 1990, I have come across many a time that I’ve had to say, “Hold on. I hear what you’re saying, but I want to get the next exercise in before any more conversation.” I am subtly saying to my client, “I value what you are saying, but I do want to get some work done here to benefit your core, back, stress level, endurance, etc.” Clients are paying us to be personal trainers, not shrinks. I do want to stress that you need to engage in active listening, in which you are not judgmental and don’t express an opinion. If a client is venting and wants to be validated, you might say, “I hear what you are saying, and I empathize with you. Now please focus on the next exercise because we’re going to do it differently today, and I need your full attention.” I have also found that when you keep your clients moving, they talk less. Talk time seems to happen more during a cardio warm-up, continuous cardio or stretch time (not during active stretches). This is where circuit training can come in handy! It is up to us to keep the sessions on track. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to do this without seeming rude, but we want to give the best personalized exercise program we can each session.

If their topics aren't offensive and they work while they ramble, Its their time. I just continue monitoring their actions and conducting the session. If it bothers me, I tell them.

Clients sometimes become confused as to what a trainer can and cannot do for them. They may misinterpret a trainer’s ability, or willingness, to listen to them talk about personal issues. If you want your clients to exercise rather than talk, then there are a number of steps you can take: Create an Exercise Environment Conducive to Movement. If you have chatty clients, put them in an environment that does not facilitate talking. For example, running on a treadmill, sitting on a bike and using weight machines are all activities that allow clients to “tune out” and focus on chatting. Instead, think of activities that provide little or no opportunity for talking, such as doing intervals/sprints on the treadmill or shuttle runs in the group exercise room. Keeping clients moving constantly from one station to another limits the opportunity for chatting. Make a Lesson Plan. Planning your sessions thoroughly allows you to limit unnecessary rest intervals between exercises. For example, if you’re planning box jumps after push-ups, make sure the box has been set up in advance, etc. Decreasing unnecessary pauses decreases chat time. Mind Your Own Behavior. Your client’s behavior is often a response to the way you present yourself and your session. Take a good look at how you present yourself. Make sure you are dressed and groomed to look like you mean business. Also, consider your nonverbal communication, such as body behavior. Are you standing upright, engaged in your client’s exercise, spotting actively and so on? Last but not least, how is your verbal communication? Are you initiating talking by asking nonexercise-related questions? How is your voice projection? Do you sound like you mean business, or do you sound as if you want to chat? Often we are not aware of how we present ourselves. One way you can help yourself is by asking a colleague to critique you or by videotaping segments of your sessions.

I don’t feel uncomfortable talking about personal issues with my clients as long as the issues are relevant to their health or fitness programs. After all, many personal issues—like work stress, family problems and holiday plans—can impact their exercise programs. So I think it’s important to know, and I’m interested in knowing, what’s happening in their lives. However, when I first started personal training 13 years ago, I wasn’t quite sure how to politely manage these conversations. As a new trainer, I found that some chatty clients’ workouts could come to a complete standstill as they ranted about their spouse, crazy neighbor or nanny situation or told long tales about their recent surgery or business trip. I found it difficult to interrupt these kinds of stories, especially the emotional ones. The result was sessions that went over the allotted time period or didn’t include all of the exercises. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had to take control; otherwise, clients wouldn’t reach their fitness goals and/or they’d feel they weren’t getting value for their money. (When I’m sorting out issues like these, I often put myself in a client’s position. For example, if I hired a $75-an-hour interior designer and she let me ramble on, I’d be disappointed. I’d want her to take charge, lead the conversation and give me lots of solid advice within the allotted time.) Now I’ve learned how to manage my clients’ stories without sacrificing any of their workout time. Here are a few techniques I use: 1. If clients start a long story between sets, I’ll interrupt and say something like, “Hold that thought, and let’s do the next set.” After the set, they may continue the story, but sometimes they forget, and we just carry on. 2.  I keep moving all the time. I may be nodding my head and commenting on the story, but I’m also picking up dumbbells, arranging an exercise mat, changing the seat height on a piece of equipment, etc. I keep clients active, too. Even if they’re talking, once I have the mat in place I’ll gesture to it so that they walk over, lie down and start the next exercise. 3. I don’t always make eye contact when clients are talking. I’m more likely arranging equipment or looking at their body position as they set up for an exercise. I may nod and smile or comment as they talk. I don’t want to appear rude, but the message is that the workout takes precedence over the story. 4. We have time for a bit of talking when clients arrive, while we’re walking toward the equipment and while I’m setting up the first exercise. At the end of the workout, when we’re wrapping up or stretching, we can quickly converse as well. 5. I often e-mail and telephone clients regarding upcoming appointments. During these exchanges, I can learn what’s happening in their lives without cutting into valuable workout time. Despite a lack of long, detailed conversations, I still manage to find out what’s going on in my clients’ lives. I find that really talkative people instinctively learn to make their comments shorter and more succinct. They’ll tell me the highlights, and they know that I won’t let them just stand there and babble on.

My company offers wellness coaching. I will always listen with empathy and at a discrete moment I will suggest that they think about a wellness coaching package as I know I be in a better position to listen and help them think through what they are experiencing. At that moment I will also explain that there are goals that both the client and I set out to achieve when we started working together and that we fall behind in the goals if we don't use the time for what it has been reserved for.

I let my clients know that there will be time to chat afterwards, if I don't have to rush to another session. The occasional chattiness is alright, but shouldn't take up the whole time.

If the talk is relevant to their mood and energy for that day, I'll allow a few minutes at the outset to let them air it out. However, then we must proceed with our workout. They know (but sometimes need reminding) that they will feel much better and better able to deal with the situation once they have devoted the hour (or 55 minutes) to themselves. Now, I'm not an unsympathetic soul; there are times in life when one's personal issues overwhelm and override everything else. I get it, I'm human too. Certain issues are much more serious than others...and that would be considered. As long as we have an understanding of when and how long the chat will continue, I'm o.k to a point.

I wouldn't allow it to become chronic. It's unproductive. I would be honest and upfront: "I care about you, what's happening with you...but your personal issues cannot take up your valuable training time any longer. What can I do to help you change this habit? (referral to specialist in the area, a 5 minute venting time frame at the beginning of each session, and that's it, or perhaps a new trainer?).Hopefully we can resolve the issue amicably.

I agree with most of what has been said in previous answers. If you work them hard and keep them out of breath, they'll be more interested in breathing than talking :-) Seriously though what I like to do is keep them engaged and focused during their entire sessions. If a client is chatting a bit too much so that it becomes a problem I give them a friendly reminder "Focus," or "I need you to focus..." Also, keeping them moving and engaged actually does work. I like to use "active recovery" exercises a lot in my workouts so that when we're "resting" between exercises they are still engaged with the workout instead of simply standing around waiting for the next set or exercise. It's a great tool and helps them really utilize all of their training time. This keeps them engaged, active, and hopefully quiet :-)

LaRue, MHA, JD, CSCS
www.lecfitness.com
lecfitness@yahoo.com

Shorten the rest intervals between sets. ;-)

I think they sign up for the session to talk, rather than to workout. So be it.